Lori Dettler remembers her younger brother, David Roy, as someone who was always smiling. He was funny, full of advice, and deeply devoted to his children and grandchildren. When David was diagnosed with glioblastoma, Lori and her family knew that time together would soon become their most precious gift.
After receiving a late-stage diagnosis, David pursued traditional treatment options. When doctors delivered the devastating news that treatment was no longer effective, the family reached out to HIA Hospice. Their goal was simple but profound: to help David make the most of the time he had left and create lasting memories together.
At first, David was hesitant about hospice care.
“He felt like going on hospice meant giving up,” Lori shared. “We told David that hospice wasn’t about giving up—it was about accepting a different kind of care.”
With support from HIA Hospice, David was able to remain at home in Langdon, North Dakota. Living in a small rural community meant access to specialized care was limited, but HIA Hospice brought compassionate, personalized support directly to David and was there to support his family. Because his care needs were managed at home, David and his family were even able to take one final trip to Florida together.
“That trip gave them time they wouldn’t have had otherwise,” Lori said. “Memories were made that mean so much to us.”
As David’s final days approached, his hospice care team remained closely connected with the family, helping manage David’s pain, answering questions, and explaining everything in a way that felt clear and comforting. Being together during David’s final moments brought a sense of peace.
“The care team took on the responsibility of knowing what was happening so we could focus on being together as a family, and it took so much off our shoulders,” Lori shared. “That meant more than we can ever express.”
“I didn’t even know where to begin,” Lori said. “HIA Hospice made it so easy to take that first step and talk to someone.”
Lori Dettler – David Roy’s Sister
After David’s passing, Lori received a phone call from his hospice nurse—a reminder that the care from HIA Hospice didn’t end when David’s life did. She learned that grief support services were available for her and her family.
“I didn’t even know where to begin,” Lori said. “HIA Hospice made it so easy to take that first step and talk to someone.”
Through grief support, Lori found reassurance and understanding during one of the hardest times of her life.
“To have someone outside of my circle to talk to made such a difference,” she shared. “It helped me understand that what I was feeling was normal.”
Support that met her where she was made all the difference.
“If I had to travel or take time off work, I probably wouldn’t have started (talking to someone),” Lori said. “They met me where I was, at a time when nothing felt simple.”
Talking to a professional, Lori emphasized, doesn’t mean weakness.
“It made me feel like I wasn’t burdening anyone else with what I was carrying,” Lori shared.
With each session and the resources shared by her grief support specialist, Lori learned to process her loss in a healthier way than she could have on her own.
“This was the worst experience of my life—and in some ways, the best,” she said. “I didn’t know what to do with all those feelings. Talking with someone from HIA Hospice helped me through it.”
Reflecting on her brother, Lori shared, “I wish everyone had a sibling like David. Being with him in his final days was a blessing, and the care he received helped make a horrible situation just a little easier.”
Grief looks different for everyone, but support can make a difference. HIA Hospice’s grief support services are available to help individuals process loss, understand their emotions, and find comfort during difficult times. If you’re considering talking to someone, know that help is available—and you don’t have to go through it alone.